Ok lets face it, most of us have done something pretty stupid at some time or another related to our ownership and use of Triumphs. Be it a mechanical cock-up, driver error, bodyworking catastophe or something you would never have suspected you were capable of beforehand - surely its only right to let other people have a laugh at your misfortune let other people benefit from your experience?

Below you'll find a selection of sage, wise, profound, ironic and sometimes cringeworthy pieces of advice supplied by various Triumph owners. One of these might save your dignity life one day!

Featured Wisefoolism

Want to submit your wisdom? If you have something wise to say here, then please send it to this address with your name and a web address if you like. "When asked by a policeman after being stopped for speeding 'how fast were you going in that Herald' don't reply 'I'm sorry I don't know, as my speedo doesn't work'..." Jessica (submitted by Richard B) - Added January 5th 2007

 

Bodywork - Updated: 15/10/07

#3 - "After returning from the paintshop with your newly re-srayed Triumph pride and joy, be ALWAYS aware how close you are to the end wall of the garage when you open the bonnet..." - Dave Freeman - 15th Oct '07   #2 - "Ask your neighbour to move their bright yellow jeep when spaying red oxide primer" - Justyn - 10th Nov '05   #1 - "Don't put a loose car cover on your car on a very windy day if you have an aerial pressed flat to the roof.... now where is that T-Cut?" - Hutch - 8th Nov '05

 

Mechanical - Updated: 05/01/07

#8 - "Don't start the car with a large spanner still on the pulley. *bang*..." - Ferny - 5th Jan '07   #7 - "The internet is not the source of all knowledge. When you read on a certain web site regarding substitute parts '..and the lightweight aluminium radiator from a Peugeot 205 (check them on ebay -- £20!!!) will fit with very little modification' what they really mean is 'it will fit in a Peugeot 205, not a Triumph'! Check any bulls**t claims with as many Triumph people as possible to avoid expense" - Adrian - 28th Mar '06   #6 - "When removing parts from the engine (parts which it requires in order to start and run like 'manifolds') make sure the vehicle is in a suitable position for further work to be carried out, and NOT in an unlit garage at the bottom of a hill nowhere near power and tools" - Hutch - 3rd Mar '06   #5 - "Remember to pump the brakes after you've fitted new pads... before you drive down the road to the first roundabout and put your foot on the brake to find there is nothing there" - Doug Foreman - 19th Jan '06   #4 - "If you decide to use some rubber pipe to temporarily cover holes in your inlet manifolds, its probably best to check that the pipe is 'fuel resistant' first. Failure to do this results in a black gooey mess!" - Hutch - 10th Jan 2006   #3 - "Don't start the engine with the top of the gearbox removed - unless you want EP90 all over the headlining/garage ceiling" - Nick Jones - 1st Dec '05   #2 - "When you try to free a seized engine by rocking the car in-gear with the sparkplugs out, there is very littleengine braking when the engine suddenly un-seizes..." - Bill (www.rarebits4classics.co.uk) - 10th Nov '05   #1 - "Don't dismantle and part of the engine or running gear unless you have a second car in which to drive to the spares shop!" - RumPith - 10th Nov '05

 

Legal - Updated: 05/01/07

#2 - "When asked by a policeman after being stopped for speeding 'how fast were you going in that Herald' don't reply 'I'm sorry I don't know, as my speedo doesn't work'..." - Jessica (submitted by Richard B) - 5th Jan '06   #1 - "When talking to the DVLA, don't use the phrase 'no that was the OLD chassis number'..." - Hutch - 8th Nov '05

 

Driving - Updated: 15/10/07

#5 - "After reversing out of your downhill drive and discovering that you have no brakes atall, and having just avoided your neighbour's car parked opposite and the No7 bus heading towards you, and having smartly engaged first and nipped quickly back into your drive, do remember that the reason for all this prompt action was that you have no brakes... at all!" - AJM - 10th Oct '07   #4 - "If ever your car breaks down and you're lucky enough to be given a push start by a helpful policeman don't spoil the rare event by forgetting to switch on the ignition... they don't remain helpful for very long!" - Steve Cureton - 15th June '06   #3 - "Disengaging overdrive at over 4 and a half thousand revs on a corner whilst attempting to overtake a 'sunday driver' may be bad for the underwear... and the gearbox!" - Hutch - 11th April '06   #2 - "When you drive your car off the ramps remove your toolbox from underneath it first" - Dicky Blighter - 13th Jan '06   #1 - "When being towed do not take the keys out of the ignition so the steering locks (we were doing fine until we got to the bend)" - Dicky Blighter - 10th Nov '05

 

Others - Updated: 15/10/07

#6 - "Be aware that a metal radiator fan, when spinning, is all but invisible in certain light conditions. Don't decide to put your hand beween the engine and radiatior to 'pull out that small pice of paper wedged in the radiator'. Fingers get broken or lost in this way. I know, and I still bear the 25 year old scars of my stupidity to prove it!" - David Freeman - 15th Oct '07   #5 - "While using Nitromors to strip an engine parts. DON'T converse on mobile wedged between ear and shoulder. DON'T paint all your un-gloved fingers in Nitromors. DO it outside, not on the kitchen worktop - laminate is 'stripable'. DON'T spray face with Nitromors while working it in with an old toothbrush" - Hutch - 5th Jan '07   #4 - "When pushing your car out of the garage with exhaust removed, ensure the exhaust is not stored under the car or the chassis will squash the back box, as the car rolls off the step in garage..." - Aaron - 14th Mar '06   #3 - "Always aim your spanner away from you when undoing stubborn bolts... never at your front teeth"" - Seymour - 8th Feb 2006   #2 - "When leaving the handbrake off on your driveway, you WILL make a big dent in your neighbours brand new MX5!! and, they WILL NOT ever send you a xmas card again!!" - Roy Lacey - 25th Jan 2006   #1 - "Anti-freeze and windscreen wash are NOT the same thing!" - Greeks - 9th Nov '05